Very Strict Indian Parenting

We had just settled into the class when dimple walked in… there were welts on her hands, her eyes puffed… And it became very evident that she had been up all night, crying… We knew what must have happened because this was not the first time that we had seen her in this shaken state… Just that she had scored an 18 and not 20 on 20 in mathematics? Was this one unit test examination result going to mar her future in any possible way? When would her parents realize that her capacity was 18 marks and not 20? No child would deliberately give away those two marks if she could achieve them and if that was the difference between getting beaten up and not, then something desperately needs to be done…

I firmly believe that children having VERY strict parents are not destined to achieve greater success in life. Parents can plant magic in a child's mind through certain words spoken with some thrilling quality of voice, some uplift of the heart and spirit. Most people presume that very strict parenting and harsh discipline lead to extremely well behaved kids. From an external point of view kids of very strict parents may seem polite, obedient and easy to manage.. Many parents view instant obedience as a good virtue. Why? Coz it makes everyday life easier for them… simple!

But very strict parenting often has its price, a high price! If for a moment we look beyond external behavior and adjust our spotlight to what’s going on the inside of these children, we see that the short term behavioral gain of obedience is heavily outweighed by the long term psychological damage, in short, this unreasonable behavior of our parents acts as the sinking sand averting children from success.

The behavioral demand on a child is very high. He is expected to behave in a “mature” way, more or less like a “civilized” adult. However, despite the adult expectations, the kid is treated inferior. An interesting paradox, isn’t it? You must not expect old heads upon young shoulders.

Within this conservative, rule oriented parenting style; there is very little freedom of thought, creative experimentation and independent choice making. Let’s all remember, the greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence to ensure success in life.